Spiritual Supermarket

Sofia: Mommy, am I Jewish?
Me: You’re Jewish and Christian. I’m Jewish, and Tati is Christian.
Sofia: Do we go to church?
Me: We go to the Inter-Faith Families Project.
Sofia: Well, I want to go to church sometime, or to some party, so I can wear a fancy dress.

I think this all comes from Miss Odilie, Sofia’s pre-K teacher, who “doesn’t believe in pants” and doesn’t celebrate Halloween because it goes against the teachings of her church. Sofia comes home from Pre-K from time to time saying, “Mommy, tomorrow I need to wear a church dress,” to dress up for picture day or some other event. I don’t mind if she’s exposed to this, as long as it’s not the only way she’s exposed to religion and spirituality. And at her pre-K holiday party, they always have something Jewish and also something Latino, since a plurality of the kids is Latino. At the first holiday concert I went to there, the pre-K sang, “Must Be Santa,” the dreidel song, and some Spanish holiday song. So, I was happy about that.

Overall, I think I like the mix. What does that mean? It means that I feel comfortable being around a mix of cultures and backgrounds, and the area where we live is great for that. My husband has said several times, “It’s not a supermarket,” but I think it can be. For me, the ideal way to expose my kids to religion and culture would be analogous to Trader Joe’s. Lots of different influences, and even the development of some creative new food.

The thing is, though, Trader Joe’s also has its own values system. (Maybe the ultimate value is profit, as discussed in this article today, but the way they choose to make a profit is to respond to the values of their target market.) For example, they don’t use additives or preservatives, even though that real Inca Kola in Peru or gyoza in China would be chock full of them. Another value is reasonable prices, which attracts a certain demographic. In much the same way, I want my kids to learn about different religions and cultures, but I want it to be within the context of values I’m comfortable with. Thus, they can learn about Noah’s ark, but let’s have it taught to them in such a way that it’s not presented as God punishing the evildoers. Or the idea of gender-neutral language in prayers. I want my kids to learn about Jewish holidays, but I don’t feel strongly about abstaining from pork or about circumcision. Stuff like this is not value-neutral or universal. It’s what I believe is right for my kids to learn, based on my own values and upbringing. It’s my own choice at the supermarket. In that sense, how am I different from Miss Odilie, who doesn’t let her son Marcos dress up like Spiderman on Halloween?

I keep thinking about an acquaintance of mine, who I haven’t seen in a while. She has 2 sons, who are a little older than Philip. She lives in a wildly colorful house, with Mexican murals and multicolored floor tiles. She’s from Texas, and only speaks to her kids in Spanish even though she’s Jewish and Anglo. She sends her kids to Hebrew School, but is married to her college sweetheart (after 20 years and a nebbish first marriage for both), who is a Born Again Christian. Somehow, it all works out. I went to their house for a Rosh Hashanah party last year, and I remember her husband singing “Apples and Honey for Rosh Hashanah” while he played the little piano in their living room. It felt so right to me, and in its melting pot nature I think it’s something uniquely American.

My husband, on the other hand, feels totally uncomfortable with all of this. His view is that you are who you are, and you should know who you are. I think he thinks this way because he grew up in what was then Yugoslavia, where there really wasn’t choice. On the one hand, he had a very strong Serbian Orthodox Christian identity, and his grandfather had him baptized in secret. On the other hand, there was the official state position to de-emphasize religion and to strongly emphasize other group-think things related to the state. I think that all of that added up to a widely held view that to be religious – or to be non-religious and political – meant playing the game and not questioning the tenets that were issued from up-high. You could choose not to participate, but you weren’t able to pick and choose and fill your own spiritual shopping bag. You got what you got and you didn’t get upset, or you could just withdraw from the game. And if you were religious, you didn’t question what you were. Instead of Trader Joe’s, you had your local corner store, and that was that.

Another way to look at it is through the prism of a menu. My husband simply doesn’t order off the menu in restaurants, and he still gets flustered when asked about choices – rare or medium? Regular or decaf? White or wheat? You should just take what the restaurant has and not ask for more. You don’t want to insult the chef, after all, and in Montenegro the waiter might beat you up. My mother, on the other hand, will ask the waiter to create totally new dishes. I report with some chagrin that I clearly take after her. The apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree. So, while my mother goes to Costa Rica and forces my father to order a low cholesterol meal for her in Spanish, I’ve been known to ask a restaurant to change its music if it’s too loud or too sad. And it’s the same for religion/spirituality with me. I like to pick and choose the right mix.

We’ll see what the kids pick up from the influences we’re having on them. I love the eclectic and value-rich form and content of IFFP, and although he doesn’t consider himself religions, Bojan strongly wants the kids to learn about the history, culture, and ritual of the Serbian Orthodox Church. (He will probably argue with me about all of this, but this is how I see it.) I’m sure Sofia will have lots of opportunities to wear her “church dress,” hopefully in many different venues. In addition to IFFP and the DC-area Serbian Church, I would love to take her and the other kids to a synagogue, a mosque, a Day of the Dead celebration, a Diwali party, and who knows what else. We’ll keep our eyes and minds open, within limits.

Things I’m grateful for:
--that I have a seat on this overcrowded Metro train
--that my parents are able to pinch hit when there are problems with the Metro, like today
--my job (getting repetitive, are we?)
--the many interesting people I’ve been exposed to over the years
--that I got to try a new restaurant today

July 28

Today I'm grateful for:

--cooler weather
--that my husband can drive the kids today so I can do my brainstorming
--lunches with my mom (especially sushi at a restaurant that would be too pricey for me)
--that we live in a relatively peaceful place
--our jobs
--our parents
--public libraries (again)
--birds singing in the morning

Not much else to say right now. Must run to work for a busy day.

Crazy storm

I know I missed out on yesterday's posting, but we had a giant storm and lost our electricity. That's my excuse. I was sitting in the living room, playing Monopoly with Philip while Sofia and Angelina ran rings around us. I'm usually unexceptional at Monopoly, but this time I had a green property monopoly, the dark purple ones right after Go, both utilities, and all 4 railroads. I had 1 house on each of the green ones and 4 on the purple Baltics. I kept thinking about how this game was invented in Atlantic City during the Depression, and how I wished I could amass property like this right now. I was also remembering -- amazingly enough, given how long ago it was -- a book I read when I was a kid about how to win at Monopoly. Apparently you could take a prince or a pauper strategy, although I don't remember what they are right now. Also, the book calculated the likelihood of landing on each of the properties, and -- surprisingly -- it's not random.

I was in the midst of cleaning Philip out of house and home, when the wind started to blow wildly. We not-so-intelligently crowded to the window, while we watched trees sway and a giant branch come down in our neighbor's yard. Then the rain came down, literally in sheets. Soon after that, the electricity shut off, and the house began to heat up. Pretty crazy... Bojan ran out to move the Hyundai, because it was situated under the weak tree that we've begged the County to get rid of. We call it the Moon Tree, because Philip used to see the moon behind it when he was younger than Angelina is now. Luckily, the Moon Tree sustained little damage. (Which is less than I can say for my parents, who had one of their trees go crashing through their neighbor's roof, rendering the place uninhabitable.) Once it was clear that the electricity would be out for a while, the kids starting asking for hot chocolate and talking about how they wanted to cuddle up with blankets. I guess they were remembering Snowmageddon, when we last lost electricity and it hit 42 degrees F in our house overnight.

After a couple of hours of sweating in a steamy house, we headed out for dinner in Downtown Silver Spring. It was great to get out, and we managed to snag an outside table at Austin Grill. We ended up sitting between two sets of neighbors -- one of whom we knew, and the other whom we hadn't met before. Service was awful, but luckily the kids were able to run around by the sprayground. By the time we got home, our power had returned, thank God and PEPCO.

Anyway, with all of that, I just didn't have time to post yesterday. And then today, when I went to drop Angelina off at Miss Wiwin's, I noticed that her giant red minivan was no longer there. It turned out that their power had never come back on, so Miss Winwin had taken her family to her sister's place. And Northwood Camp was closed for the same reason, so I designated it a girls' day out. We went to Brookside Gardens, which was also closed due to power outages. Luckily, the gardens themselves were open, so we saw lots of flowers and butterflies (pictures to follow). We're home now, with Sofia playing a computer game (bad mom!) and Angelina blessedly taking a nap. So, now is the time to say what I'm grateful for today:

1. Electricity, and PEPCO's ability to restore it in our neighborhood
2. That I have an understanding workplace that lets me take these unexpected and unavoidable days off
3. Library books, especially the fun one I'm reading now
4. Upgrading to a free Blackberry
5. The beauty of Brookside Gardens -- really nature on a leash!
6. (Should be #1): Spending fun times with Angelina and Sofia (to be extended to include Philip, when we pick him up later today.

Okay, time to try to sneak some work in while the girls are occupied and the electricity is still on. Cheers!

Hot hot hot

It hit 101 or 102 today, breaking all kinds of records. Since I grew up here, I kind of like the heat and humidity. When you first step outside, it's like having a comforting blanket settling around you. It makes me recall walking to the pool when I was a kid and buying chocolate eclair or toasted almond ice cream bars. Still, 102 is a little much, and it made the most sense to stay inside. Nobody accused me of having a lot of sense, however, so while my husband took Philip on an errand to his work, I packed up Angelina and Sofia and we went trawling for yard sales and thrift shop goods. It was a lot of fun, despite the heat. Angelina and Sofia each got a pretty hair band at a yard sale, and Sofia and I are still fighting over who's going to end up with a great Wonder Woman notebook that only cost a dollar. Then we went to Unique Thrift Shop and I watched the girls having fun playing dress-up with fancy hats and yucky wigs. Sofia is a natural at this, and I'm definitely going to encourage her to take up drama someday (and she's always been quite the drama queen). I met a nice older woman who encouraged me to buy a couple of dresses, including one Maggie London dress for only $9.99 http://www.maggylondon.com/#collections/maggy .

I love Unique, because everything is so affordable, and it's like going on a treasure hunt. You may end up with something amazing, like a pair of $200 shoes (score!!!), but then there's a ton of tacky stuff. And of course there are guys hanging around there who could either be the typical undocumented construction worker types or else gang members. The construction workers are the ones looking at cheap jeans and boots, while the gang members have tattooes. Actually, I haven't really seen too many gang member types, but I'm always ready to assume the worst. And the police are there a lot, which makes me think there may be a potential for crime. And then there's a big Korean supermarket nearby, as well as one of those greasy-looking taqueria trucks that I haven't gotten up the courage to try yet. And on federal holidays everything is 50 percent off, which makes the whole place a zoo. It's a lot of fun, and I think Sofia has already absorbed the spirit of thrift store shopping.

Afterwards, we had a cheap-ish lunch at Duncan Donuts, where Sofia and Angelina danced in their chairs to "Isn't She Lovely," the song that Sofia's dance class performed to at their recital. Then Sofia turned up her nose at the bathroom there, so we went on to my favorite Asian Store, Han An Rheum, or H-Mart for short. H-Mart is in the same type of area, where you really see people from all over the world and you read about shootings in the nearby apartment complex. Okay, maybe not that often, but from time to time. Also, my former daycare provider had her groceries stolen there. At the same time, you see wealthy Asian-looking people pulling up in Mercedes and other expensive cars, because the food is so diverse and fresh. Each time I see things that I never knew existed. Last time I saw a Chinese or Korean-looking man putting some bitter melon in a bag. It was on sale, and he had a t-shirt with a slogan that referred to genetics, so I felt comfortable asking him how he cooked the melon. (I suppose I felt comfortable because it meant he spoke English, was educated, and possibly worked in the same field as my father.) He told me that he basically stir fried it, so I bought some and tried it later that week. It was...bitter. I don't think I'd buy it again, but it's always nice to try new things. Today I saw some dragon fruit, which until now I had only heard of as one ingredient in vitamin water. It looked so crazy...I can't really describe it, but here's a link -- http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img.alibaba.com/photo/104906322/Vietnam_Dragon_Fruit.jpg&imgrefurl=http://makeupgeek.com/forum/viewtopic.php%3Ff%3D6%26t%3D19952%26p%3D174491&h=302&w=350&sz=53&tbnid=Dj6r19r9CFt2TM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddragon%2Bfruit&usg=__0Ft7WVqbMKF9Zi9oDpOaOZPR1Sc=&sa=X&ei=5q9LTIr0JcKC8gbW3bDyCA&ved=0CDQQ9QEwAw. And each time we pass the sugar cane, Sofia makes a reference to our book about the Day of the Dead. The other good thing about the Asian store -- aside from the fresh, cheap produce, meat and fish, and the 80s music soundtrack -- is the fact that they're always giving away free samples. Today we tried bottled green tea, Japanese bean cakes, and mango aloe drink. The latter was a bit odd, but I was compelled to purchase the delicious bean cakes. I love Japanese food, and I should really make the effort to cook it more.

Later today, I had another cultural experience. Philip has been going to a French language and culture camp for the past week. It's at a place I could never afford, but my parents offered to subsidize him because my mom was excited that he was interested in learning French. It's at Sidwell Friends, so I had visions of running into one of the Obamas there (but alas, they're away in Maine). Anyway, it's been a great experience so far, and it pisses me off a bit because why can't they have such a great experience at public school? He's been eating French cheese, drinking Orangina, and building models of Notre Dame. Also, they've been learning about Senegal and Mali. On Friday, they had a Senagalese drummer come in to teach them how to drum. He brought all sorts of drums for the entire class, and they counted in French. Tonight, Philip gave Sofia and me a drumming lesson. It was so much fun! Angelina really got into it as well. She was drumming away with chopsticks, while Sofia and I drummed on a diaper carton and a baby wipes box, respectively. It's inspired me to plan a trip to the African Art Museum tomorrow, and Philip is excited about it.

So, Mr. Evil Glen Beck, what is my crazy liberal self grateful for today? (See, you evil wingnuts, we left-of-center people can stick to a schedule and keep our commitments about what we say we're going to write.)

1. Girls' days out. So much fun today with Angelina and Sofia.
2. Air conditioned cars.
3. That I live in a multicultural area, and that nonetheless we still have pretty decent public schools. (Okay, shoot me for being politically incorrect, but I know how these things work.)
4. That Philip has the opportunity to go to such a great program, even if it's only for 2 weeks.
5. My kids.
6. That my parents are so involved in my kids' lives.
7. Free museums.
8. Netflix (what I'm thinking about doing after this, even though I shouldn't).
9. Our new-ish dishwasher.
10. My health.
11 Freedom of religion (Take that, Glen Beck!)

Okay, that's all for now. I'll write more tomorrow, but it may not be as long. This is a great exercise.

More pessimism about the economy

Check out this link to a story by Matt Miller at the Center for American Progress. Basically, he says that the bursting of the housing bubble and the near-crash of the economy was like a heart attack, and our responses like TARP and the stimulus were like emergency medicine. The longer-term, more ingrained problem of the U.S.'s decline in terms of innovation and production -- and the resulting hits to the U.S. middle class -- are more like a cancer that demands a radical response. Basically, he calls for "creat(ing) capital-intensive jobs that have labor productivity levels consistent with advanced country incomes," and making sure Americans have the skills to perform these jobs. I'm not quite sure what the first one means, except it sounds like it takes into account the need for jobs to actually pay a living wage. Miller notes that we're doing "dismally" on these important tasks, because political leaders simply won't face up to them. See the article here:


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/21/AR2010072103052.html

Also, on the topic of educating Americans to have the necessary skills, see this article about how the U.S.'s worldwide ranking of the number of 25- to 34-year olds with college degrees has fallen from first to twelfth. The article also says that the problem begins long before college. I'm sure the cost of post-secondary education has something to do with it as well. And our friendly neighbor Canada is number one! Read it here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/23/education/23college.html?hpw

So...we have a lot of work to do, but we seem to lack the political climate for getting much done. I take that back, because Obama has actually gotten an amazing amount done given the political climate. But there's so much animosity and contention. I guess we need to keep on moving forward, regardless.

Long time no see

It's been ages and ages since I've written. I shouldn't even be writing now, because I have SO much work to do. But here I am.

Strangely enough, I've been following the blogs of two women who had difficult pregnancies. One of them (http://cak-micropreemie.blogspot.com), whose daughter was born at 24 weeks gestation back in May, is still waiting to take her daughter home from the NICU. The other one (http://bhcalaway.blogspot.com) gave birth in June at around 26 weeks gestation, I think, but sadly her son died after only an hour. The first woman is in Pennsylvania, and the second is in Idaho. It's amazing how you can be touched by the stories of people you've never met. And I think it's amazing that the second woman is still blogging and sharing her thoughts with interested readers after going through such a terrible tragedy. One interesting thing about her, in my point of view, is that she is a religious Mormon and probably pretty right of center (although I'm not sure what left, right, and center mean anymore). There's a lot on her blog about her faith in God and her religion, and you can see her drawing upon it to help her through this extremely difficult time. So, for someone like me, who was raised by atheists, it's a fascinating look into what almost seems like another culture.

I'm not sure why I've been so drawn to these blogs. Maybe I'm missing the baby days, or maybe something inside me really wants another baby (but that's not going to happen, so don't worry...). But in any case, it has kind of given me a feeling of connection to touch base with these women. Maybe it's a general human connection, maybe it's a mother thing, or maybe it's just that their stories are so compelling. I don't know. But I keep reading.

So, Hilary, the Idaho woman just noted in her blog that she was watching Glen Beck (Argh!!! Make anti-vampire sign!!! Bleah!!!), and he challenged viewers to fill themselves with "faith, hope, and charity" for the next 40 days. Why 40 days? I don't know. Something to do with Noah? (I've always hated that story...such a testament to Old Testament cruelty.) 40 days seem to be significant in many cultures. Maybe he can't count any higher than that? Who knows... In any case, I'm going to take the Evil Mr. Beck up on his challenge and try to do this for the next 40 days. Each day in this blog, I'll write down something I'm grateful for. And I'll try to be a nicer person too, and not jump to negative conclusions about people, including myself. (Sarcastic inner voice: Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts!)

So, for today, here is what I am grateful for:
--My kids
--The trees and nature
--Hilary Clinton (Sorry, Hilary from Idaho, your name got me thinking about how lucky we are to have such a strong, hard working woman as a high-level public servant.)
--Barack Obama (It would have been great to have Hilary as President, but I chose to vote for Obama for many reasons. See earlier postings.)
--The fact that I have a job and can afford (barely) to provide my kids with a good education.

Speaking of jobs, I'd better get back to it. I have to say that my listing of Hilary and Obama feels kind of yucky. I mean, who am I to be listing the top politicians in our country...no politician can really be noble, right? On the other hand, maybe I should be grateful that I still have the naivete and enthusiasm to feel this way about our current leaders (and also grateful for the fact that we don't have to be calling someone Madame Vice President right now, God forbid).

Okay, enough chattering. Time to get back to the grind. I'll do my best to post each day. Hope it won't be too boring!

Eve

Pissed off stream of consciousness from a lucky plucky gal

I had some insight today into why I’m feeling pissed off.

(And by the way, sorry I haven’t written in months. My friend Etana has been bugging me to write, and she signed her e-mail “creatively yours,” so that sort of motivated me. And then Roger and Suzanne gently urged me on as well.)

But what’s also motivating me is my feeling of frustration. No, it’s more than that. It’s the Sisyphus thing, like I’m pushing a rock up a hill and wake up the next morning to find that it’s at the bottom again. Or maybe it’s the hamster wheel thing…around and around and around I go, but where does it get me? Of course, bottom line is that I’m putting the best part of my energy into raising strong, healthy, kind, happy kids, and I’m very blessed. Yes, that’s true. I’m blessed, thank God or Whoever. I have to say that. But, that said, I can still take some time and a minor bit of energy to think about why I’m feeling pissed off.

What am I pissed off at? Let’s start with who (or whom?). First, my parents’ generation, who are generally enjoying a happy, healthy, well-traveled, and secure retirement. They don’t just have rights, they have entitlements. They feel entitled to take time for themselves, to relax. Or maybe I can paraphrase this attitude as, “It doesn’t take a village, and I’m living in a luxury retirement condo anyway.” They’ve done their work. Now we need to do ours. (I’m inaccurately quoting the mother of a friend here, but that’s the general feeling.) But, darn it all, we are working. I feel like Henry the effing Workhorse in Animal Farm. “I will work harder…I will work harder…” and eventually he ended up as dog food. Yes, I’m being somewhat over the top, yes I did choose to have 3 kids in a declining economy and country, but I can still be annoyed, okay? (And I’m not specifically blaming my parents, because they are pretty helpful, within their own self-imposed limits. It’s more like some twisted version of Schadenfreude that’s actually jealousy about the fortune of others.)

Anyway, here’s why I’m really pissed off. I realized this morning -- as I was sprinting to the Metro after waking at 5 am and getting 3 kids out the door at 7:45 innumerable juggles and negotiations later – that I’m not living the way I was raised. When I was growing up, in the Free to Be You and Me 1970s, the argument went as follows: Girls can be anything boys can be. A woman has a right to work. Why should a woman have to stay home and take care of the kids? She shouldn’t be consigned to a mere joblet. And so forth. The goal was Working Girl does Wall Street. Does anyone remember this commercial –– “I can bring home bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man. ‘Cause I’m a woman....Enjolie.” My mom was outraged that this was what “the feminists” wanted women to become, and she cut out the ad and taped it to our 1970s tan refrigerator. But she was caught up in the throes of an argument that doesn’t make sense anymore. I say, f—k the “choice” of being the Enjolie woman. I have never had a choice but to work.

And I was raised middle or upper middle class. I’m not from a working class background. I expected to work, but I also expected my husband to support me financially. I expected us not to need my income. The point I want to make now is about the times, which have a-changed. Nobody chooses to be the Enjolie woman anymore. Most of us are her by default. (Except forget the never never let you forget you’re a man part, because I don’t have the time, energy, or inclination for that kind of subterfuge.) And, hey, what about Ms. Enjolie’s kids? Were they glued to the boob tube watching the Brady Bunch or Family Affair? Did their mom put them to bed at 7:30 pm after a supper of Kool-aid and tv dinners? Toggling between the 1970s and now makes me feel a bit like Rip van Winkle. I guess that’s what happens once you hit 40.

I remember when I was in 10th grade, our biology teacher had us write about what we thought we’d be doing when we grew up. I wrote that I would be a psychologist living in LA, married to someone in the Spanish royal family. In my essay, I wrote that one cute American guy had wanted me to marry him, but his dream was to live in Alaska and I knew that that would never work for me. So, there I was, living in LA, being a psychologist, and happily married to my Spaniard. Our biology teacher’s purpose in having us do the exercise was to point out that none of us thought about the reality of having kids in our essays. The essays were actually a starting point for talking about contraception, and looking back, I think it was a great idea.

My point is that none of us in the class thought about the need to struggle for money to maintain a middle class, upwardly mobile lifestyle. Never, never, never. Yes, I should have listened to my grandfather and gone to law school, but I’m sure at the time that we all assumed that if you just did what you loved, enough money would follow. That there would be enough slack for a do-over if you messed up. And that if you didn’t mess up, you didn’t have anything to worry about. I don’t think that’s the case now.

Sooo… I’m pissed off because I was raised to exemplify an argument – “Women have a right to work! Hear me roar!” – but my life now is “Women get weary.” It’s not a failure of feminist ideals, although the American feminists seem to have forgotten about maternity leave. It’s more a failure of capitalism, or maybe it’s capitalism’s success. I don’t have any other “isms” to suggest, since I generally don’t trust them. Somehow I’ve become this slogging hardworking slob who has been given the “freedom” to take on all of the risk that corporations and the government used to take on.

Even those among us who are well off -- (which I don’t think includes me, although of course I’m well off compared to a Sudanese villager and I’m blessed to live in a relatively peaceful land, yadaydayda…) – are facing some hard truths. Let me rephrase that. Even for those of us who aren’t living paycheck to paycheck (not me, unfortunately), trying to give our kids the same semblance of middle class security and education that we had growing up is a huge stretch. My grandparents managed to put away enough money to put most of their grandchildren through college. I’m putting $120 a month into a limp and sickly 529 plan for my kids. Will that be enough for college any one of them? No way, Jose. Sure, there are ways to get around it, but it won’t pay for Harvard or even the University of Maryland.

And I heard on NPR last night that all 3 legs of the American retirement system may be crumbling. Pensions are becoming non-existent or unpayable, Social Security and Medicare may not be around once they’re drained by those damn babyboomers, and 401-Ks aren’t the magic bullet they were made out to be. So, what’s a gutsy gal to do in her old age? Become a plucky little old lady who builds her own trusty wooden stool and sells pies, like in Mother Goose? I wouldn’t want to do that even if I got to live in jolly olde England and use their National Health System. I need to think of some kind of business to run in my older years, but it’s hard enough to find time for everything I need to do now.

So…whine whine whine….As I say to my kids, “What kind of voice are you using?” Definitely a whiny voice. I’m not even saying please. Please, please, powers that be, can I please have income security in my old age and a decently priced college education for my kids without having to indenture them to the military (God forbid)? Please? And the answer comes down in a deep voice from on high: “Sorry, life isn’t fair. You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

Oh well, I guess it’s time to ignore it all. No wonder musicals were popular during the Depression. Even if I want to face reality (and since it’s impossible to escape it, I might as well), I still need a little picker-upper for my spirits. We all do. I think the way forward is to think outside of the box somehow. I need inspiration for that, and I need people to brainstorm with. I guess the irritation and resentment I’m feeling can be a motivator. It can provide the kinetic energy to get me out of my head and actually moving forward on something and leave outdated ideas behind. We’ll see. Stay posted. Same bat time, same bat channel.